The Four Immeasurables (Brahmaviharas)
Four “boundless” heart attitudes: loving-kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity.
Description
In many Buddhist traditions, the Four Immeasurables (or Brahmaviharas) are core relational qualities:
- Metta – loving-kindness / friendliness (“may you be well”).
- Karuna – compassion: meeting suffering with care and willingness to help.
- Mudita – appreciative/sympathetic joy: delighting in others’ good fortune.
- Upekkha – equanimity: even-mindedness that stays steady amid gains/losses.
From an IFS lens, these map closely onto how Self might relate to Parts and people: metta and karuna toward exiles, mudita when Parts shift into new roles, equanimity when protectors spike or things don’t go “to plan.” They’re “immeasurable” because they’re not supposed to stop at your in-group, nor at your own inner favorites.
What The Four Immeasurables (Brahmaviharas) is NOT:
Becoming a doormat; suppressing anger or discernment; pretending everything is fine.
Examples:
Metta: wishing a panicking Part ease instead of tightening around it.
Karuna: feeling moved by a partner’s exile and staying present.
Mudita: genuinely enjoying a friend’s success without a jealous Part running the show.
Upekkha: holding steady with a triggered protector while you keep boundaries.
see also:
Metta Bhavana (Loving-kindness Meditation); Compassion; Empathy vs. Compassion; Self; Self-energy; Mindfulness; Window of Tolerance