Equanimity (Upekkha)

Staying present and responsive without being yanked around by every inner or outer wave.

Description

Equanimity is the “poise” side of the heart practices: open, caring, but not fused. In IFS language, it’s what Blending & Unblending feels like when it stabilizes: Self can listen to scared or angry Parts without collapsing into them or slamming the door.

This isn’t numbness; it’s a wide Window of Tolerance where joy, grief, anger, and fear can all move through without forcing emergency firefighter responses. Equanimity makes deeper work possible because protectors experience that intensity can be handled without everyone drowning.

What Equanimity (Upekkha) is NOT:

Spacing out; apathy; “I don’t care”; spiritual superiority.

Examples:

Feeling a rage part flare and still choosing a slow, clear response.
Staying with an exile’s grief over several sessions without rushing to fix it.
Holding a partner’s distress without needing them to calm down right away.

see also:

Self; Self-energy; Blending & Unblending; Mindfulness; Window of Tolerance; Titration; The Four Immeasurables (Brahmaviharas)