Metta Bhavana (Loving-kindness Meditation)
Systematically training the “may you be well” muscle toward self, others, and even difficult Parts.
Description
Metta Bhavana is a structured meditation practice cultivating metta (loving-kindness) in widening circles: self, close others, neutrals, difficult people, all beings. In IFS terms, it’s like bathing the system in Self-energy on purpose: a way to rehearse warm, steady relating to Parts without fixing or judging them.
Done well, it softens harsh Protectors (critics, controllers) and offers neglected Exiles the kind of tone they never got. Phrases are pointers, not spells; the work is in the felt shift toward more goodwill and less threat.
What Metta Bhavana (Loving-kindness Meditation) is NOT:
Positive thinking wallpaper; forcing yourself to like everyone; bypassing anger, grief, or boundaries.
How to do it:
Repeat these phrases internally, starting with
- toward yourself
- then someone you care for
- then someone you find neutral
- then someone you may have a struggle with
- then, finally to all beings:
“May I/they be happy, may I/they be peaceful, may I/they be healthy” You can change them if you find other ones more nourishing.”
Examples:
Repeating “may you be safe, may you be at ease” toward a shame part you usually attack.
Including a terrified exile in your metta circle after a hard session.
Sending metta to a protector that just hijacked you, instead of trying to kill it off.
see also:
Self; Self-energy; Compassion; Mindfulness; Practice; Spiritual Bypassing; The Four Immeasurables (Brahmaviharas)